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Submitted by Jennifer, Los Angeles, CaliforniaViolations: More is NOT Less, Griswold Family
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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Violations Cited
- Unharmonious Arrangement Violation: Yard decorations should be placed in aesthetically pleasing arrangements. Please refer to other rules for tips. Lining up the figures in rows or alphabetically is still not pleasing, organized yes, pleasing, no.
- Griswold Family Violation: If your neighbors have nicknamed you the Griswold family and you are aware of this (you have rude neighbors, your nickname should never be divulged), you probably shouldn’t tell people.
- Monochromatic Violation: If your decorating theme involves the over-use of one color, you are in violation.
- W.T.H. (What the Heck!?) Violation: Random, non-holiday decor has no place in December. Just because you were given a cool giant light up smiley face does not mean you should put it on the roof this month!
- King Kong Complex Violation: If a giant polar bear is standing anywhere near a mid-sized Santa or the Abominable Snowman is lurking over the manger, do something, quick!
- Seizur-ific Violation: Sometimes using foil is just a little too much when combined with all of those bright lights. Also, too much blinking or out of sync movement can put you in jeopardy of losing your Christmas light license.
- Frequent Lighter Card: If you have the electric company or an electrician on speed dial, you need a new hobby.
- P.O.W. (Prisoners of a Wall) Violation: Trapping your Christmas village behind a fence is way too constricting for the purpose that these figures must serve during this time of year. Free the inflatables!
- More is Not Less Violation: Just another reminder that Christmas is a season of minimalism. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Remember that other cliché; less is more? It really is. Less of an energy bill is more money in your pocket to give to others or to buy something nice to not put on your lawn.
- Fallen Figurines/Drive-by Shooting Victims Violation: These poor souls should not be illuminated. If you aren’t going to go outside to set them all back up, don’t plug them in. No one wants to see Mary and Joseph laying down as if involved in a deadly drive-by shooting.
- Multiple Clauses Violation: There is one Santa Claus and only one. I repeat- you may not have more than ONE Santa in your yard at anytime. (The exception is this; if you have a Santa from another culture or a Santa of another ethnicity, THEN you may have another Santa among the deciduous forest that is your yard. This does not mean you may have an inflatable Santa AND a plastic, light-up Santa. Inflatable is not an ethnicity). The same rules apply for Mrs. Claus. Santa is not an adulterer. We must show Santa as an upstanding and moral citizen, despite the 3rd world wages he pays the elves.
- Elves: While we are on the subject. This is one group of people that even we don’t mess with. Everyone knows that Santa hardly does any work at the North Pole. His input on who’s naughty or nice is non-existent. He’s too busy making mall appearances and such. The elves are the ones that MapQuest directions for Santa, they check the list, they pack the presents, THEY are in charge. Go buck wild with the elves…if you must.
- Intermingling Violation: This is strictly prohibited. There should not be a North Pole sign lit up outside of the manger scene. A giant inflatable Santa should not be peering into the manger. Jesus was born in a manger, a place of nothingness, a symbol of scarcity and minimalism. Santa and friends next to the manger is mockery of the Lord! They are taunting the KING!
- Snowman In-Laws Violation: I hate to say it but we MUST have limitations on how many snowmen may appear on the lawn of the average single family dweling. The average family size in the United States is 3.14 with the average household size being 2.59 (US Census Bureau). That being said, we will be generous and say that there cannot be a family of snowmen that exceeds 4 on your lawn. Four is plenty. Again, real snowmen, inflatable snowmen, plastic snowmen, etc are not classified differently, they are still snowmen.
23 comments:
They must not watch news at all. I think global warming started right here...
This is the best website -- ever.
http://babsbits.blogspot.com/
<3
Using all that energy.
I bet they drive a gas guzzler.
I am sending an email with this picture to al gore.
Living in Finland, even in southern Finland where there is bound to be snow at Xmas it has been a great disappointment of having a black Xmas, which it is called here when it is not a white Xmas but seeing fake snow seems really far out!!!
Thinking about it environmentally with the global warming and all, even artificially made snow would be better. What is the fake snow made out of anyway? Is it environmentally friendly and whop cleans the yard after Xmas?!?
omg. hud want all that in their yard?? how would you mow>>??
I LOVE this website!! Can't wait to read the hate mail....will be as outrageous as these decorations, I bet!
Happy New Year 2008
I hate to say I LOVE THIS YEAR!
What is their electric bill like?
they better clean it up
I love it! Very pretty!
my god, this is insane...
wow, this yard is really tacky!
Sadly, I just now found your site. Will have to remember it for next year. I think my favorite part tho, is the people screaming about Jesus while simultaneously defending the very plastic crap that takes away his spotlight.
The best part about the yards is how they look during the day- like giant garbage heaps.
Unbelievable...
Who would put that in their yard for real?
Too bad I don't have anything for pest-y neighbors.
-joe
Do-It-Yourself Pest Control
Personally, I find this site hilarious! I'm not sure how people can take a religious holiday, turn it into TackyWorld, and then be all offended when you have some fun with it! Jesus is sacred - all the rest of it is ...um, I'm not sure what all the rest of it is.
Hahaha, that's completely amazing. Where's the Hummer parked?
Wow-That must have taken sooo much time to put up all those decorations! It would be fun as long as someone else put up all that stuff for me.
My parents live near this guy.
Believe it or not, this is actually one of his more understated displays.
It's about time someone compiled a site of these yards - having grown up in Southern California, some yards are great, and some yards are definitely not-so-great...
-Walter
I like how it says 2005.
I guess 3 years ago electric bills were less.
Holy cow. Nice yard. I'm so glad my parents weren't ever that into it! All we had were lights and bows, and the occasional christmas tree when there was room inside the house.
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